This is just a note to say I am now Lydia.2, new and improved! Now with 100% less impacted wisdom teeth! Pick up your copy today! Just kidding about that last part. The rest of it is true. Of course. Think I need me some lists!
Nice Things About Wisdom Teeth Removal
- Pudding. Lawdy have mercy, I never had pudding in my life until today. Also tapioca, which basically looks like frogs’ eggs. Fascinating stuff, tapioca is. Being that it’s poisonous when uncooked. Apparently the first dude who discovered you could eat the stuff was trying to put himself out of his misery while lost in the wilderness. But you may as well go out in style and not hungry, yes? So he cooked it up, ate it, and… lo and behold, he lived! We have this dude to thank for the all-time weirdest food ever.
- Really nice dentists…
- Lack of pain later, caused by impacted wisdom teeth bumping against existing 12-year molars and causing decay and all that fun stuff we’d rather avoid.
- Everything’s funny when you’re high… enough said.
- The dorky text messages you send to your best friend right after exiting the OR, spelled atrociously like so: “It’s done so delirious trying to text with dpoble visopn,” and “Feel like crap, but cab:t text anynore.”
- Having two mothers, three hands, three phones… see #4….
Not So Nice Things About Wisdom Teeth Removal
- Freeeeezing ortho surgeons’ offices. Frigid, no joke. Also the cold leather chair you have to sit in shivering.
- The “pinch” of putting in the IV for the anaesthetic. Not that bad, but I was soooo scared cause he thought my “beautiful vein” had “just danced around it.” But we were good. By then too I was on the laughing gas. Which actually wasn’t all that funny.
- Feeling like the lower half of your face is sliding off your skull. Plus your lower lip sticking out about two miles. No joke.
- Saying a lot of semi-future-blackmail-worthy things…. And not remembered afterward unless you were telling yourself “Remember this, remember this!”
- The fact that the anesthesia can make girls emotional afterwards… crying for no reason when you come out. Sheesh.
- Lack of wisdom. Totally a legit concern, peoples. Mark my words.
- The constant presence of wads of gauze in your mouth.
Obviously the good parts outweigh the bad parts, and all in all it wasn’t all that much to worry about. I was pretty nervous, but now I’m kinda curious… I wonder if there are any pictures or videos of wisdom tooth extraction… I want to know how they do it!
Also it is hilarious to try and take meds when you can’t really feel anything in your mouth. Exceedingly amusing. And very awkward. *awkward starfish* Anyways. That’s awesome!