In Extremis

Let’s take a break and be serious here for a minute.

I have a bone to pick with life.  It goes like this.

I don’t want time to ever be something I’m just trying to pass.  Get it?  Like, I’m tired of thinking, “Only X more hours and today is OVER.”  Those X hours have been WASTED.  Lost.  Uncool, dudes.

I have kinda made a promise to myself that if I find myself in that situation, I’ll change it.  Then comes college.  To be honest, I’m spending a lot of time just trying to get through X hours faster.  Trying to make it to such and such a break.  And it’s already November?  I mean really!  Something is wrong with that picture.

So I’m trying to figure out how to change it.  Trying to figure out if it’s my mindset…my activities…something I AM doing or something I’m NOT doing and should… in order to fix this funk.  Life is way. too. short.  For reals.

If I figure out the magic answer, I’ll let you know.  And no, I’m not quitting college, growing my hair out, and living like a gypsy with a guitar.  Well yes about the hair part.  But no to the other ones.  It’s just bothering me how much I’m thinking, “I just have to get through this semester.”  I don’t want to have to “get through” anything, ever…

Anyways.  This is also to say, I…………am getting back into photography.  Slowly.  Gonna get me a tripod again, and start taking pictures again instead of leaving the ideas stuck in my head.  And this also means that as I start my second Flickr account… I’m going to unveil my first.  It’s been long enough, I’m emotionally detached enough to let anyone see it now.  Keep in mind, this was the first time I had ever done anything like this, the first time I’d actually used art to express myself, and it was heady and it was exciting.  And it put me in strange moods.  It was like…working out knots in muscles that had been there for so many years.  I revisited a lot of bad memories, and that’s probably why the pictures tend to be a bit depressing at times.  But it was good for me, it was necessary, it gave me the zoned feeling I used to get when I’d finish a chapter.

And I’m okay with that now.  So here’s my first flickr and here’s my second, where you’ll find me now.

And that’s pretty awesome.

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